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The Unthinkable Article: The Approach to Baking

It should be no secret to anyone who reads this blog but I hate baking. There’s a few reasons for it. First, I’ve never met a baker I liked. I’m sure there are perfectly nice bakers out there but all the ones i’ve crossed paths with have ended up becoming my arch enemies. Pay attention bakers, I don’t go down easy and I see every fight to the end. Secondly its too delicate a process. Bakery has no stamina for creativity. Its more like a math equation and less like an art.

So aside from a few quick cookies and pancakes here and there I’ve left the forbidden art of bakomancy untouched. I reserved myself to the coming end of the world and the fact that I’d never bake.


(I was really banking on this. I can’t tell you how awkward the next day was)

But than the world didn’t end and I had to do something with my Tuesday. Resolutions are cute I guess but they’re forgotten pretty quick. Instead I thought of the Dinner Parties I’ve been hosting and I thought about stepping up my game, expanding my skill set and learning how to infiltrate the wicked Bakers Guild should that every be a thing.

Few things you have to know about baking if you’re not familiar with it.

Recipes– I like to let my dishes come together. I know what goes into them and I build a recipe by tasting and observing. My soups and sauces are built with instinct and i can taste their progress. Bakery tastes like sweet slime until its done. There’s not a thing my tongue or eyes can help with.


perry bible

(Iron will and a hero’s courage are required)

You need to follow the instructions. In baking there is no room for invention. You need to follow every step and it needs to be done all according to plan. Switching ingredients affects how the dough will rise. Adding things will weight it down. A bit too much or too little on the flour will ruin the whole endeavor.

So I decided that my first foray into a life of steady baking would be a simple b

bread5 bread4 bread3 bread2 bread1And so my quest begins. There will be joy and sorrow, there will be success and failure. I’ll probably drop a ring into a volcano at some point. No big deal.

But that’s my approach to baking so far. I’d love to hear yours.